Alexander Gordon


thank you 265

I want to tell everybody how happy I am now because we reached another milestone! this is a big one. reeal big. we made it! our goal. two-hundred-and-sixty-five followers. I can’t tell you how proud that makes me. 265. I haven’t seen a number that big since …. I’ve never seen one that big. feels good, not going to lie. feels kind of like when you go to the donut shop and the girl there looks a little crazy but not like dangerous-crazy just y’know, kind of touched and you’re like ‘well that’s not — I mean, it’s good that she’s working somewhere; like it’s probably good she has something to look forward to.’ and then she starts putting all the fucked up donuts in your thing and you’re like ‘uh…’ but, I mean, they’re still edible right? just ‘cause they don’t look real good — they’re still made of the same shit. so you get a whole bunch of donuts for free because of this girl and at first you think she’s flirting or something but then you’re just like, ‘man, this— I ought to just tip her a little more I think I can give her like two extra bucks.’ this is what that feels like. 265. it’s just so exciting to do that. but then you eat all of those donuts and there’s this shame, but thank you. I really mean that. I am here for you. so just tell me everything. tell me everything you ever think on every post I make. even the ones I don’t. I’m supposed to say that. I read it on in article called Engagement. I thought engagement meant when you got on your knee and asked your girlfriend’s dad for permission to marry his daughter. so…. do that. say “I do!” to me, and I promise, as certain as humans were alive when dinosaurs were alive, I will make another post if you get us to 266. that’s our next one; our next goal. I believe we will make it. we will make it because I believe in you. 


Do mosquitos have a purpose or…

If everything in the world had a purpose there wouldn’t be a florida


why are my parents always like “go to bed.” i am in bed. im always in bed. you go to bed. stop talking to me.

*gets up to use bathroom* wow getting out of bed is exhausting! I think it’s time for a nap 


Song: “What is Love” - Haddaway



Song: “What is Love” - Haddaway



if you wont kiss your partner after you cum in their mouth you are truly weak and natural selection is coming for you 

if you won’t kiss ‘em after head you didn’t deserve that fucking blowjob. fucking babies 

264! overwhelmed with love

wow! thank you again. we made it, we hit our goal. we got to 264 followers. that’s total, not net. wait, yeah it is. I lose followers a lot too. but we’re climbing and that’s all we really care about. we’re like the guy who climbs mt. everest and then wants everybody to know about it. that’s us. it’s a big thing to reach these kinds of numbers on tumblr. tumblr really cares about blogs that are growing and you’re helping me grow. every time you do that, we grow. and it’s not like the kind of growth that your doctor wants to talk to you about, it’s the kind of growth that I want to talk to you about. I am your doctor and I just wanted to say thank you. each new follower makes me feel so good. each new follower is like getting jizzed in the face by god which I’m sure feels pretty good. I bet it’s a little warm. probably really warm. but that’s how it feels. if you guys keep this up, if I get more followers — like one more, I’m going to make another post to let you know how much I appreciate it. so click that follow button and don’t—…. well you know what you should brush your teeth. I was going to tell you not to brush your teeth but that’s a bad idea I know somebody who didn’t and now shit’s all fucked up. thank you guys. thank you so much. 


"Weird Al" Yankovic does it again with his newest parody "Word Crimes"


Daenerys Wants a TV Recommendation (GOT Parody Video)


Houses of Westeros: Amazing Piano Medley Cover of Game of Thrones Soundtracks by Taioo


another HUGE milestone!

well I have more good news. we made it to our goal. we made it to 263 followers which was our goal and we made it there. I couldn’t have done it without you and I just wanted to say thank you everybody, thank you so much. we’ve really accomplished a lot and you’re the reason we’ve got to 263. well really only one of you. one specific person. I’m not willing to check who it is but she’s probably good. she’s probably a she because demographically that’s tumblr’s dominate userbase. you know, I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed with how proud I am of what we’ve done. we’ve come so far, and we’ve got so much farther to go. but we’ll get there, because it’s not very far. and that’s how we’ll get there. baby steps. but instead of babysteps I’m using you, my followers. kind of like that scene in crocodile dundee where he’s trying to tell the women he loves but the subway’s crowded so he yells at the black guy and the black guy yells at the construction worker who I think is italian or something like that and then he yells at the woman and then she yells back to the italian construction worker and then he yells at the black guy and the black guy then yells at Paul Hogan, otherwise known as the crocodile dundee. that’s you. you’re the black guy and the somewhat italian construction worker guy. so thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you.