it’s me hi. hello. I am writing this for you. I wanted to say thank you! you helped me achieve what we set out to achieve, which was a new follower. that happened and now I am proud to say that we have gotten to our goal… 268. oh yeah. ooooooooo yeah. ooooooooohohohoohhhhhhhhhhyeah. o yeah. big numbers. 268, that’s the real deal. the rest of you blogs can fuck off. wait no, I mean I want to be friends. each new follower is like getting a wet kiss from a wet woman. it’s kind of gross and it’s kind of wet, but ultimately it’s better than most other things you could be doing at the moment. so…. pretty good. especially if she does other things to you. that’s when you start, like, you know, not worrying about stuff for a little while. which is good too. so what’s next for us? I’ll tell you. we’re going all the way. we’re going to go alllllllllllll the way to 270. I’m even just going to skip over 269. I don’t even think that number means shit. 269 sounds made up. it sounds fake. sounds like something some scammer would want you to buy. like a vacuum salesmen or willy wonka, selling some shit ass chocolate. probably not even made from real cocoa. how do you think he got all those oompa loompas to work for him? huh? they don’t work for him, they’re his slaves. they just absorb nutrients and they bathe in the chocolate river and it’s gross. what was I talking about. oh right. WE’RE GOING TO GET TO 270. which is exactly as many followers as twitter characters you’re allowed divided by two and minus ten. so to honor that I want you to also hit my twitter account on the @1alexgordon. go there and tell me about your life. and if we get to 270 I promise you, oh I do, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhohohoh yeah, you will see me make another thank you post to thank you at 270. if we get there.
Viserys Targaryen takes the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.
on a scale of luke skywalker to jaime lannister how well would you deal with losing your right hand
or, on a scale of luke skywalker to jaime lannister how well do you deal with latent sexual feelings for your sister
or, on a scale of luke skywalker to jamie lannister how well would you deal with your dad being an utter bastard with unresolved issues about the death of his wife
Hey store owner who decided to go with the child mannequins that had the smiling faces, you’re crazy. I do not know you, but you’re a psychopath
My desire to touch your butt is second only to my desire to touch your heart
not changing ur url to maintain your brand recognition
we made it to 267 followers! that is a real accomplishment. I didn’t think we would ever make it this far. well, that’s not true I kind of hoped we’d be a lot fucking farther along by now. but, it didn’t work out that way and I guess that’s just how shit goes sometimes. however, we are here now, and we’re on our way up. so look out! …. and uh, if you’re not looking out, we’re — we’re gonna come from behind! and win. our goal is to win tumblr. each time I get a new follower, it feels like when you get an email from your doctor saying you don’t have AIDS. which is pretty nice. that’s what this feels like. each new follower is like getting a new needle on the cactus. and that way, we’re even more protected from large insects and birds who would otherwise come to eat our cactus flesh. and turn it into bird poop. do insects poop? I don’t think I’ve ever seen an insect poop. anyway, thank you again. thank you so much. we made it to 267 and we’re going to keep making it to 268…..hopefully. and I’ll tell you this, if we get to 268 — one more follower, I will make another thank you post to thank you for all that you did. because as a community, we are together. specifically, you should shut the fuck up and follow me.