Alexander Gordon
aestheticaspirations:

Song: “What is Love” - Haddaway

BABY DON’T SHOOT MOMMY. PLEASE PUT THE GUN DOWN BABY. OH GOD NO! KAREEENNNNN!!!!! 

aestheticaspirations:

Song: “What is Love” - Haddaway

BABY DON’T SHOOT MOMMY. PLEASE PUT THE GUN DOWN BABY. OH GOD NO! KAREEENNNNN!!!!! 

marcellvs:

if you wont kiss your partner after you cum in their mouth you are truly weak and natural selection is coming for you 

if you won’t kiss ‘em after head you didn’t deserve that fucking blowjob. fucking babies 

264! overwhelmed with love

wow! thank you again. we made it, we hit our goal. we got to 264 followers. that’s total, not net. wait, yeah it is. I lose followers a lot too. but we’re climbing and that’s all we really care about. we’re like the guy who climbs mt. everest and then wants everybody to know about it. that’s us. it’s a big thing to reach these kinds of numbers on tumblr. tumblr really cares about blogs that are growing and you’re helping me grow. every time you do that, we grow. and it’s not like the kind of growth that your doctor wants to talk to you about, it’s the kind of growth that I want to talk to you about. I am your doctor and I just wanted to say thank you. each new follower makes me feel so good. each new follower is like getting jizzed in the face by god which I’m sure feels pretty good. I bet it’s a little warm. probably really warm. but that’s how it feels. if you guys keep this up, if I get more followers — like one more, I’m going to make another post to let you know how much I appreciate it. so click that follow button and don’t—…. well you know what you should brush your teeth. I was going to tell you not to brush your teeth but that’s a bad idea I know somebody who didn’t and now shit’s all fucked up. thank you guys. thank you so much. 

sushinfood:

"Weird Al" Yankovic does it again with his newest parody "Word Crimes"

gameofthrones-fanart:

Daenerys Wants a TV Recommendation (GOT Parody Video)

gameofthrones-fanart:

Houses of Westeros: Amazing Piano Medley Cover of Game of Thrones Soundtracks by Taioo

GOD DAMN IT WHY DID THE VIDEO END 

another HUGE milestone!

well I have more good news. we made it to our goal. we made it to 263 followers which was our goal and we made it there. I couldn’t have done it without you and I just wanted to say thank you everybody, thank you so much. we’ve really accomplished a lot and you’re the reason we’ve got to 263. well really only one of you. one specific person. I’m not willing to check who it is but she’s probably good. she’s probably a she because demographically that’s tumblr’s dominate userbase. you know, I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed with how proud I am of what we’ve done. we’ve come so far, and we’ve got so much farther to go. but we’ll get there, because it’s not very far. and that’s how we’ll get there. baby steps. but instead of babysteps I’m using you, my followers. kind of like that scene in crocodile dundee where he’s trying to tell the women he loves but the subway’s crowded so he yells at the black guy and the black guy yells at the construction worker who I think is italian or something like that and then he yells at the woman and then she yells back to the italian construction worker and then he yells at the black guy and the black guy then yells at Paul Hogan, otherwise known as the crocodile dundee. that’s you. you’re the black guy and the somewhat italian construction worker guy. so thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you. 

thank you

262 followers. we did it. we made it to 262. I couldn’t have done it without you. 262 is a big number. I haven’t seen a number this big since I lied about my IQ on tinder. I can’t believe we’ve got this far. I didn’t even think it was a possibility until I got to 261, that’s when it started to seem real. I’m thrilled. not even Jesus was this big. he only had 12 followers and they were dicks. 262 means a lot to me because that’s the age my grandfather was when he died. he aged in dog years. he was actually 262 divided by 7. people say to me, “alex, how do you get so successful? how do you do it?” I say to them, “just give me my food you dumb fucking fuck. I don’t come to Carl’s Jr for questions.” each time I get a new follower, I’m going to make another post. I believe that we can get to 263 followers. I truly believe that. every time I get a new email from tumblr telling me I’ve got a new follower, I go “shit fuck yeah” because each new follower is like a new pill. a new tapeworm pill for my heart. my heart has a lot of tapeworms, so I need a lot of followers. I need a lot of pills. I get diarrhea a lot. 

quimeshine:



I LAUGHED AT THIS FOR A WHOLE MINUTE. THAT IS A LONG TIME TO JUST LAUGH AT SOMETHING. 

quimeshine:

image

I LAUGHED AT THIS FOR A WHOLE MINUTE. THAT IS A LONG TIME TO JUST LAUGH AT SOMETHING. 

tapemachinesarerolling:

If you’re not digging CM Punk’s Twitter saga of a prematurely retired and financially secure professional wrestler finding things to watch on TV, I don’t know what to tell you.

stammsternenstaub:

krudman:

the-average-gatsby:

thanks joffrey

What a great message. I wish all characters were this nice. Does anyone know what this is from?

this is Joff Baratheon, from Game of Thrones. He’s actually one of the only truly likeable characters in the series. Joffrey gets onto the throne way too young but makes a really good go of being a fair and kind ruler. He has a relationship with a girl earlier that’s not this one but due to circumstances that are spoilers, they have to split up and he deals with it in a really mature inspiring way that you don’t get to see much in TV shows these days.  Here he is at his wedding to this new girl, Margaery, and it’s one of the most beautiful episodes of the show so far, actually.

emkaymlp:

Life Tip: Don’t allow Tumblr to become your primary/only source for morality. Remember, this is the site which has hundreds of thousands of people genuinely believing that they can get unlimited chocolate just by slicing it a certain way. I know I certainly wouldn’t want these people dictating my worldview for me.