Alexander Gordon
Hey store owner who decided to go with the child mannequins that had the smiling faces, you’re crazy. I do not know you, but you’re a psychopath

Hey store owner who decided to go with the child mannequins that had the smiling faces, you’re crazy. I do not know you, but you’re a psychopath

I'm wearing yoga pants
Anonymous

My desire to touch your butt is second only to my desire to touch your heart

bovidae:

not changing ur url to maintain your brand recognition

If Game of Thrones ends with a character saying “Summer is coming” I will superman punch my TV

267. they said it couldn’t be done!

we made it to 267 followers! that is a real accomplishment. I didn’t think we would ever make it this far. well, that’s not true I kind of hoped we’d be a lot fucking farther along by now. but, it didn’t work out that way and I guess that’s just how shit goes sometimes. however, we are here now, and we’re on our way up. so look out! …. and uh, if you’re not looking out, we’re — we’re gonna come from behind! and win. our goal is to win tumblr. each time I get a new follower, it feels like when you get an email from your doctor saying you don’t have AIDS. which is pretty nice. that’s what this feels like. each new follower is like getting a new needle on the cactus. and that way, we’re even more protected from large insects and birds who would otherwise come to eat our cactus flesh. and turn it into bird poop. do insects poop? I don’t think I’ve ever seen an insect poop. anyway, thank you again. thank you so much. we made it to 267 and we’re going to keep making it to 268…..hopefully. and I’ll tell you this, if we get to 268 — one more follower, I will make another thank you post to thank you for all that you did. because as a community, we are together. specifically, you should shut the fuck up and follow me. 

deadfeline:

kingcheddarxvii:

My parents are asleep quick reblog this post with skeletons saying bad words

image

cepheid-variable-star:

giraffepoliceforce:

I’m just baffled that there are people out there who hate asexuals.
They are literally doing nothing.
They are literally doing no one.

"What you’re not doing is an abomination"
"Uh…."

do you read fanfiction ?
Anonymous

I’VE HAD ONE FORCE READ TO ME BY MY FRIENDS. IT GIVES ME THE WILLIES


I met the Young Wolf today… It didn’t go so well.

This is my favorite picture on the internet

I met the Young Wolf today… It didn’t go so well.

This is my favorite picture on the internet

TAG! YOU ARE IT! Hey there, beautiful person! Send this to 10 of your followers who really deserve this wonderful message, m'kay? Spread the love around to make everyone feel especially awesome today! ♥♥♥
Anonymous

YOU DON’T CONTROL ME DAD 

266!

I’m feeling like the luckiest girl on the planet earth right now, and I mean girl. girls are luckier than guys. it’s statistics. facts. science. we started out at zero like every tumblr page. even Gandhi was at zero followers when he started his life’s journey. then he walked over the ocean and put some fucking salt on his food and helped get rid of the british people. man I’d love to be able to do that. he has his own movie that they named it after him. things went great for Gandhi. he had zero just like us. we’re like Gandhi. so thank you. I mean that. each time we get a new follower it’s like — well, you know how when you find a box of porn by the train tracks and you’re like ‘oh man that’s a lot of porn’ and you pick it up and you’re like ‘geez!! wow it’s fucking heavy…. but, it’s just magazines? — is it me? am I not strong? .. I…I-I thought I was strong’ but then you hear a guy coming at you. he’s like 50 feet away and you don’t see him because he’s 50 feet away but he starts going ‘hey! that’s mine! p-put that down!’ and you’re like ‘aw shit he’s mad it’s probably his porn’ but like, you can’t give that shit back. it’s a lot of porn. so I’m running away and I hear a train coming but it was in the other direction so it doesn’t matter but I look back and I see him and he’s limping, it looked like he sprained his ankle and he’s swearing at me. he’s going ‘fucking you god damn fucking young kids you fucking shit fucking fuc fuc buck-buck-buckah’. that’s what this feels like. we did it. we made it to 266 followers. oh man I hope we get to 267, that’ll be fuckin sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. one time I was at the airport and this really pretty girl was behind me in a security line and I was thinking ‘oh she’s really pretty and stuff’ and I was putting my shoes on and she’s near me putting her shoes on too it’s all really normal and I go ‘hey always wear your good socks to the airport right??!?’ she laughed! she goes ‘hahaha yeah totally right?’ and I looked her in the eyes and she looked in my eyes and I thought ‘oh whoa I’m in love now.’ with her honey amber colored eyes; fucking red-headed too like damn. and then, we — well actually it didn’t go anywhere after that. she went one way and I went the other way, and now we’re here, and I have you. you’re like my new red-head who I’m going to stare deep into the eyes at the airport and talk about socks. thank you. 266. 

ALEX.

YIS. I HIM